December 2009
123 posts
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I don't get it.
I just saw a license plate that said “Poverty is owning a horse.”
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"He needs his dude hair trimmed."
File under: Things you don’t want to hear your mom say.
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Dear New Precious Pen Tablet,
Thanks for the help with my new blog header. I do hereby faithfully pledge myself to you.
And my new phone.
Wow, I think things might be going downhill for me, socially speaking.
On our "Christmas Family Walk"
Mom: Oh, when we get home I'm going to give you all a pilates lesson!
Me: Oh, in that case I have plans when we get home.
Andy (at the same time): I actually have plans.
Mom: Well then I guess I only have one pupil!
Dad: Oh. Great. Rocky is real excited.
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Getting in the holiday spirit!
Old Friend: So, A, where are you working now?
A: It's a company called [Redacted].
Old Friend: Oh cool, what do they do?
A: Well, it's actually this new industry. It's called Soul Depletion. I have only been there for a short time and I'm already at about 85% depletion.
Old Friend: So what are you doing right now?
A: The opposite of killing myself because I don't have to work for two weeks.
Old Friend: ?
A: There has to be an opposite of killing yourself right? I am going to go on a search and collect all the pieces of my soul that are scattered over the Earth. Take all the tears back.
Me: Would you ever want to live in a retirement community?
Andy: Wait...you mean when I'm older or right now?
Feel like wasting some time? →
Why from New Jersey?
“A couple of New Jersey hunters are out in the woods when one of them falls to the ground. He doesn’t seem to be breathing, his eyes are rolled back in his head. The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps to the operator: “My friend is dead! What can I do?”
The operator, in a calm soothing voice says: “Just take it easy. I can help. First,...
Gold mine. →
Haley!
paulewogblog:
You are supposed to wear the 3D glasses, silly!
Dear Paul,
Don’t you just think you’re so hilarious. Well guess what, not only did I wear the immitation-Raybans with pride, but I brought a blanket. To the theater. If you can’t enjoy a movie with a blanket, that movie needs to re-evaluate its life.
H
ps. And yes, I plan on washing the blanket ten times...
mikhailovna:
Have I mentioned that I fell in love all over again with my husband on this trip?
Every day that passes I only love him more but something about this trip reminded me of all the reasons that make me love him so much.
One of the biggest ones was the fact that he loves me even when I’m silly. You see I don’t just get silly, I get CRAZY silly. Scary silly, if you will. Most people,...
