February 2009
25 posts
January 2009
41 posts
175 Uses for Vinegar other than to clean my... →
Me: Good Will Hunting is such a good movie!
Andrew: SHUT YOUR MOUTH. I agree. Except Princess Bride. Princess Bride is right up there with the others.
Aaron: You know what I just realized? Karate is kind of like ballet, except you hurt people.
(Silence.)
Ten of the Most Beautiful Places in the World →
Katy: Chevron's fountain soda machine has DIET DR. PEPPER!!!! It is SUCH A TREAT! (sips her Diet Dr. Pepper in a can) I kind of want to get one right now.
It's Official
Katy converted me to Acquisition…see ya never Limewire
Liz Lemon+Jack Donaghy
Liz: What made you think I was gay?
Jack: Your shoes.
Liz: Well, I'm straight.
Jack: Those shoes are definitely bi-curious.
Me (sniffing): Whats burning?
Katy: Your soul, in the depths of hell.
Me: Oh.
I know its long, but if you have 5 minutes, Conan...
Commencement Speech to the Harvard Class of 2000
by Conan O’Brien
I’d like to thank the Class Marshals for inviting me here today. The last time I was invited to Harvard it cost me $110,000, so you’ll forgive me if I’m a bit suspicious. I’d like to announce up front that I have one goal this afternoon: to be half as funny as tomorrow’s Commencement Speaker,...
Whoops
Okaaaayyy….
A) Previous plan might not work after all
B) I’m a terrible person
C) Damn
7 things to consider:
There is a limit to the amount of M&Ms a human should consume on a daily basis.
There is a limit to the amount of M&Ms a human should consume on a daily basis.
There is a limit to the amount of M&Ms a human should consume on a daily basis.
There is a limit to the amount of M&Ms a human should consume on a daily basis.
There is a limit to the amount of M&Ms a human...
Liz Lemon+Jack Donaghy
Jack: So, I was doing some research on comedy and I came across the cartoon strip Dilbert. It's quite good. And I was wondering if we could do that.
Liz: Do what?
Jack: Dilbert.
“No offense, but I seriously hate all fat people.”
– Ja’mie King in Summer Heights High
Highlander (Pt. 1) by Alaska in Winter
I stumbledupon this video and had NO IDEA what i was watching the entire time. I was just sitting there giggling every 30 seconds.
At the end I found out its a Radiohead music video.
It is so strange…I couldn’t even stop watching it. It was like a car accident.
Watch.
Nothing to say other than...absurd
So there is this poor Asian family. One 7 year old little girl and one 13 year old girl. When they move to a new town, they are forced to go to the local school, which has a white and rich reputation. The 7 year old little girl has some trouble finding friends at school, everyone shuns her on her first day. One of her teacher suggests she find an activity to get involved in. He suggests the “Yoga...
The Art of Invisibility →
Katy: Were you walking around naked last night?
Sydney: No
Katy: Were you walking around naked at like four in the morning?
Sydney: No?
Katy: Were you walking around naked at like four using your phone as a light?
Sydney: What? No!
Katy: You weren't walking around our room naked last night using your phone as a light at like four in the morning?
Sydney: No!
Katy: Yeah you were.
Sydney: Oh, I was using my phone to look for my pajamas after I finished my homework...that probably was around 4.
Swan: Danielle still uses AOL.
Me: No you don't Danielle, tell me thats not true.
Swan: No she really does, like it says "you've got mail" when she logs on!
Me: Oh my god.
Danielle: What! I love it? What's the big deal?
(silence)
Danielle: What's the difference?
Schu: Well lets see, the difference would be YOU are a caveman whereas WE are modern human beings.
THE BUS.
I had the rare pleasure of riding California’s amazing form of public transportation we so lovingly call “the bus” not once, but TWICE in the last week.
Let me just start out by saying: The bus is great. It is pleasantly fragrant, its filled with all kinds of amazing entertainment, everyone on the bus is extremely social, the seats are luxuriously comfortable, and the bus driver...
Surprising things you can get FO FREE! →